The saying ‘Happiness comes from within’ is almost as much of a cliché as the saying ‘Money can’t buy happiness’. Everyone has had the chance to prove both statements wrong at some point or another. Happiness can come from outside of us—like a movie that makes us laugh until we cry. And we have all felt happy spending money on something we want to buy. But this kind of happiness is fleeting. To experience it again, we need to repeat the situation. And we cannot spend all our days watching funny movies and buying things. To be honest, even if we could, those things would stop making us happy at some point anyways. So how can you feel truly happy? Here are some suggestions:
Happiness comes from within when what you want matches what you have. If what you have is not making you happy, you can change what you want. Here is an example: You have spent your life to date believing that a romantic relationship will make you happy. Your current relationship is unhealthy and making you very unhappy, but you have been hanging on to it because you have a strong belief that a relationship is necessary. You can change that belief. Picture yourself feeling happy in a good friendship with a kind person, instead of seeking a relationship at any cost.
As you change what you want, you will change some of the actions in your life to meet this goal. You may end the unhealthy relationship because it does not fit with what you want now. Happiness from within occurs when your goals match what you have.
A psychiatrist named Dr. William Glasser identified 7 Deadly Habits that damage relationships and cause you to have a negative outlook and destroy the potential for happiness. Happiness comes from within when you avoid these deadly habits. They are criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing or rewarding to control. If you find yourself doing any of these, stop yourself.
Dr. Glasser went on to identify 7 Caring Habits. In your daily routine, you will experience happiness from within when you practice these. They are supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating differences. These caring habits accomplish two very important things. First, they are valuable components of healthy relationships. Healthy relationships are a need that everyone has, and meeting this need brings happiness from within. Second, these caring habits create a positive internal focus that also develops happiness from within.
A lack of control over your life can destroy the potential for happiness. Unfortunately, many people believe they have far less control over their life than they do. Find happiness from within by discovering the control you have. This begins with understanding that every thought, word, and action is your choice. Over time your choices become habits you hardly think about, but they all begin with choices. You do not have to think or say anything you don’t want to.
The more you are aware of the power you have over your life, and the more you exercise this power, the more freedom and happiness you will experience. This happiness from within is secure, sustainable, and sincere.
These tips on happiness are part of our Internal Empowerment training. This program teaches how to take control of your life, create healthy relationships, and pursue the goals you want in your life. Our students are discovering true happiness and fulfillment. For more information, visit our Internal Empowerment programs. We are looking forward to connecting with you!
IECAST is a 501 (c)(3), Public Benefit, non-profit organization dedicated to perpetuating productive and mindful individuals, families, and organizations. We bring this vision into reality by developing diverse, internally empowered leaders who use the principles and practices of Choice Theory® as taught through the Internal Empowerment Coaching program. Our goal is to teach individuals, families, and organizations to reframe, reorganize, and reallocate resources to become effective coaches and leaders.